i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
