a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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