Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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