bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
