I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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