dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize