capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
