Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize