I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
