Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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