Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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