i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
