Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
