Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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