Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
