He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
