i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Semen is not good for contacts.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
