Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
