he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
