Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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