If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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