Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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