; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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