how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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