worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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