Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
