she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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