How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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