She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize