Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
