The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
