Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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