So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
