Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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