xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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