Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
