Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
