Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
jump out the window naked night went bad
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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