Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
