Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
