woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
