I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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