before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
