On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
