and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
