So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
