just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize