Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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