his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize