i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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