I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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