i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
