He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
