btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize