Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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