You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Found your dick twin last night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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