"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Michael Bay diarrhea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
