what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
