everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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