Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
