her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
