I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
