It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
