I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
