Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
