I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
