i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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