he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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