then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
