Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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