i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
